I’m still amazed and annoyed at my ability to purposely ignore the dying state of the strangers around me.
Last year one of God’s themes for me was “In the fire, you will find me.” So I found myself praying for glory and fire like He showed on Mount Sinai in the Bible. Which I think may have been good for that season. But it seems He’s trying to show me that it’s more.
I was at the bowling alley with my friends, and one of them decided to choose a song on the Jukebox. She chose the popular song by Eminem Love the Way You Lie. That song has always made my heart ache, because it’s almost like I can feel the pain as she is belting “Just gonna stand there and watch me burn, but that’s alright because I like the way it hurts…” I can almost see her reaching and crying out for a man who ignores her pleas, and so just living in the comfort of the pain instead.
Later I went to the snack counter and got some food. The lady there seemed extremely stressed, and I could tell she needed hope and peace. Of course I thought about trying to tell her about Jesus. But I chose to just be really kind, which does some good but probably won’t change her life. Her night just kept getting worse and worse as she kept burning herself on the hot oil and she would exclaim “IF I BURN MYSELF ONE MORE TIME THEY’RE GOING TO NEED TO FIND A NEW COOK!!” I went back to my bowling game.
Even later, on the drive home, I was showing Jay what used to be my theme song. Suddenly it all came together as Starfield sang “There’s a world outside that is burning while I’m turning blinded eyes, while I stand by…”
It was like a voice came into my head…as the Eminem song began to play in my mind again, something said “She’s not singing to an unfaithful lover, she’s singing to YOU. You have the hope that will heal…are you just gonna stand there and watch her burn?” Moreover…I saw a physical manifestation of it because as that song was playing, I was watching a hopeless girl burn herself over and over again. Just gonna stand there and watch me burn.
In the fire, I will find You. Perhaps that doesn’t just mean in the fire of glory…but when we rise up and be who we’re called to be, and reach into the flames to pull out the hopeless ones. That’s where we’ll find Him.
God I’m still so far from that, help me please!
